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AntiPsalm 23

David Pawlison with CCEF wrote this antipsalm 23 – originally found here at boundless.org.  He writes: “The antipsalm tells what life feels like and looks like whenever God vanishes from sight . . . The antipsalm captures the driven-ness and pointlessness of life-purposes that are petty and self-defeating.”  If you read this and say, “Hey, that’s me.” then  you might want to get on your knees and ask the Father for help.

Antipsalm 23

I’m on my own.
No one looks out for me or protects me.
I experience a continual sense of need. Nothing’s quite right.
I’m always restless. I’m easily frustrated and often disappointed.
It’s a jungle — I feel overwhelmed. It’s a desert — I’m thirsty.
My soul feels broken, twisted, and stuck. I can’t fix myself.
I stumble down some dark paths.
Still, I insist: I want to do what I want, when I want, how I want.
But life’s confusing. Why don’t things ever really work out?
I’m haunted by emptiness and futility — shadows of death.
I fear the big hurt and final loss.
Death is waiting for me at the end of every road,
but I’d rather not think about that.
I spend my life protecting myself. Bad things can happen.
I find no lasting comfort.
I’m alone … facing everything that could hurt me.
Are my friends really friends?
Other people use me for their own ends.
I can’t really trust anyone. No one has my back.
No one is really for me — except me.
And I’m so much all about ME, sometimes it’s sickening.
I belong to no one except myself.
My cup is never quite full enough. I’m left empty.
Disappointment follows me all the days of my life.
Will I just be obliterated into nothingness?
Will I be alone forever, homeless, free-falling into void?
Sartre said, “Hell is other people.”
I have to add, “Hell is also myself.”
It’s a living death,
and then I die.

As we hear about Garrett and the others, each story lives too much inside the antipsalm. It expresses the fears and silent despair that cannot find a voice because there’s no one to really talk to

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