Marriage and the Single Gal

In The Atlantic I read an article by a single lady who is getting older, and she has decided she should consider settling on a man.  The article is rather long, but it gives a lot of insight into our current world.

First, she has elected to have children without a husband.  I think this is a bad choice for the child (research generally shows that two parent households are better for children), but that’s not why I’m pointing it out.  In he world, she is trying to find satisfaction through children.  However, that is not where satisfaction is found.  She’s looking in the wrong place.

Second, the thesis of her article is that she should settle for a man, even if the “romantic spark” isn’t there.  Actually, I think she’s on to something important.  It’s not that I think she should settle, but her original view of marriage was incorrect - she thought that it was about having non-stop romance. 

She has correctly spotted her error.  In our culture, romance has been valued to the point that people don’t understand marriage anymore.  She is starting to realize that sparks won’t always fly, so she says that she should settle for someone with whom she can partner.

 However, I’m not sure she will be any more satisfied with that, either.  Marriage is more than just a partnership.  In God’s ideal for marriage, it seems to me that it unites two people around God’s created order.  In other words, it is two people bringing a unique set of gifts and talents into a relationship in which they become one.  As one, they carry out God’s mission into His world.  They attempt to restore God’s created order in their corner of the world, wherever it is.

When two people are united around the mission, marriage becomes what it is intended.  In the world today, people believe it was intended to be non-stop romance.  In this article, she is starting to think that it is about partnership.  However, neither is correct.  It is two becoming one, united around God’s purpose.

My point is not to criticize the author of the article.  In fact, as I read it, I felt quite bad for her and for others who are in her situation.  They are missing God’s best by buying in to a misunderstanding of marriage that is propagated in romance novels and marriage books.  I encourage you to read the article, not with criticism of her choices but with sympathy for her situation.  It’s an excellent and revealing article.